I sat down last night and wrote down a list....
It contains a lot of the things that we both put into this friendship. I am very sad that, after writing this list, I can see how much effort I am putting into a friendship, that really doesn't seem to mean that much to you.
Here's the list so far....I could probably add more if I had to think about it, but these are the ones that came to mind very quickly.....
Me for You:
1. helped organise your birthday party
2. Taken your daughter to school when you havent been home to do it or are still asleep
3. Pushed YOUR shopping halfway home from the shops while you carried nothing but your
handbag and i did it with a fucked back too
4. sold u a dryer which after it being taken leaves black marks so i let you have it for only the
$20 deposit you gave me because we dont know what is causng the marks.
5. Driven you to mt barker in your car which is dangerous to drive, coz u have no licence
6. Driven your mum to mt barker
7. Written you 2 referneces to help you in court, even after not knowing you long
8. I have and will drop everything to come have coffee with you when you ask
9. I come down the street with you pretty much every time you ask, unless i have to be
somewhere, which is rarely the case
10. Have been a shoulder for you to cry on more than once and will do so anytime because that's
what a good friend does
11. Have listened to your problems on so many occasions i have lost count and tried to offer
advice because thats what a good friend does
12. If i read your status on facebook and its a bad one and you feel down, i'm the first one to
knock on your door to see if you're ok and try to cheer you up
13. If I ever need anything or am returning anything we borrowed, 99% of the time it is ME
who comes to your place about it. Rarely do I send the kids over as 'messengers'
You For Me:
1. Many weekends I get woken up by the dramas at 2 in the morning but i've never put in a
complaint about it, tho any normal person would have after 6 months of it!
2. Lent me some things here and there as a friend does which I'm thankful for
3. Asked me to come over for coffees regularly and 99% of the time come, but you don't very
often come over for coffee to my house, or you will say you're coming and then dont turn up
4. Said you'll come over but often don't and don't let me know you're knot coming
5. While everyone else including your mum helped look for the key to the cuff, you prefered
going inside and eating and telling everyone else to look for the key, when it was your
boyfriend who did it. YOu didnt seem to care too much about it.
6, Quite often when i ask you to come with me on a friday down the street you either dont want
to or say you will but when i knock on the door you're conveniently still in bed or not home
coz you stayed at troys
7. When I am down or depressed about something you ask whats wrong but only because you
dont wanna seem like you dont care, but then when i go to tell you whats wrong, you change
the subject into something about you
8. 99% of the time, if you need anything or are returning anything you borrow, you either just
text me or send someone else over to my house as your messenger person, rarely do you
come yourself.
9. You'll text me or message me on facebook late at night coz you're bored and you ask what I'm
doing, and then I'll reply and tell you to come over, but then 5 minutes later Troy rocks up or
you go out and i don't hear from you for another day....whay ask what I'm doing?
It saddens me that I even felt the need to write this list. A normal friendship wouldn't require this, but then, I have been wondering for a week or 2 whether this friendship IS worth the effort I put in, and after reading this list, I guess that gives me my answer doesn't it?
I think for now, I am gonna do my own thing....if you really want to save this friendship, then it's you who needs to fight for it, coz i am tired of trying. I'll be here if you need me, as any good friend would, but just remember, a good friendship only works if both people care enough about it to make it work...the balls in your court.....
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